3427 was the score of Mr Bean in one of the rerun episodes- “Tee Off, Mr Bean”, in which he goes golfing. It’s really a strange game remarked one of my daughters as we were nestled up glued to the TV. That’s when my husband quipped, “once the golfer has teed off, he is only allowed to play the ball, as it lies.” This very rule had led the honest golfer, Mr Bean, to an enormous score at the end of the second hole.
Thus one story led to another; my husband and I started sharing our golf stories. One story, in particular, had grabbed our attention. One November, the Ladies’ Golf Secretary was driving from Karbala T.E. to Western Dooars Club in the wee hours of the morning, as it was the longest drive for her. The tee-off was to be at 7. Whilst we waited for her, warming up, swinging our clubs, pitching and chipping- the sun was bursting through the trees, the rays falling freely on the golf course and warming and loving each one of us. The smell of freshly cut grass of the fairways and the greens mowed close, were potent to our nose.
A little later Rimjhim drove in, as I was taking half a backswing to chip in the air. Gaping in an expression of awe, I stood with my eyes and mouth wide open. I was most taken aback by the avant-garde car she drove. The other golfers too nudged each other and stared at her as she drove past the pathway leading to the parking. It was a car, yet so different from any car that one could buy at a local dealer. It was a shiny blue, much like a swanky sports car- with an open front. One of the caddies rushed to the car, to get the golf set from the boot of her car. She walked towards the tee box of hole number one, where the ladies complimented her on her futuristic car. She giggled nervously and then went on to narrate her early morning experience.
At dawn as her brand new car sung on the lone highway, she relished the roaring winds that twirled in her long black hair and whistled in her ears. Just as she was near Roy & Cousin fuel station, a long open lorry carrying pebbles abruptly overtook her, without a warning, giving her no room. She swerved left swearing “pagol na ki?!” She accelerated a bit following the lorry. Just then, a few loose pebbles came and hit the windshield of her car. The shattering glass echoed, piercing the silence of the cold morning. For the mercy of God, she was safe, though shocked and unable to decide her next move. Flustered, she chased the lorry up the curvy road. A movie-like, road chase ensued for a while until suddenly her gaze fell on the car clock and she decided that she had more important business to attend to. After all, it was almost time to tee off!
She reached the club and we teed off at exactly 7.15 am. The first hole was a challenge for all. One of us sliced to the right onto the tinned roof of the clubhouse; the ball bounced and shattered one of the window panes. Some hooked the ball to the left, into the rough and if any of the balls remained on the centre of the fairway, it was a miracle. By the time we were at our third and fourth hole, we had an inkling that had golf balls been able to talk, they would have been cursing us. The conversation would probably be on the lines of- “I’ve been on the beach twice already.” “You are lucky, one of our friends has dived into the stream and been reported missing.” “The luckiest one amongst us was spanked hard onto the fairway, from the dense rough!” “Shhh…! Here comes another beating for me”, whispered the ball on the fairway.
Gradually we were getting into the groove of the game. But kudos to Rimjhim, who despite everything was unperturbed and seemed to have the best game of all! She had the honour of teeing off first even on the seventh hole. She addressed the ball and then with a smooth backswing brought her driver down striking the ball through, she stood with the perfect follow-through. Oh! The beauty of the ball in flight against the blue sky! It bounced once on the sand bunker, hopped a little and rolled towards the pin. We couldn’t help applauding. It was a shot to die for. As we had our swings and walked towards the green, Rimjhim’s ball was nowhere in sight.
Hole in one?! Not quite. To our utter amusement, one of the caddy’s pet dog was prancing around the green with a golf ball in its mouth. It sprang towards one of the caddies in bounding steps that were almost like jumps, at times pacing in circles, wagging and wriggling, now happy to be showered with all the attention. All of us were unable to comprehend this amusing situation. A shock registered on Rimjhim’s face before she could hide it. After consulting all of us she had come to a decision. None of us knew the rule that would be applicable. Those were the days without internet or smartphones and we had to rely solely on the knowledge from rule books. We had a good laugh while the caddy tried his best to retrieve the ball from the dog.
Only recently, the curiosity got better of me, whether the decision of replacing the golf ball with a new one was in keeping with the strict rules of the game. Google assured me that it indeed was. In addition, it also recommended some funny videos of certain four-legged golfers. It is a wonderful game that some have had the privilege to enjoy and for those whom the nuances of the game, swing overhead, these four-legged golfers unquestionably make it worthwhile. As for us, what brought us back time and again, to the Western Dooars Golf Course was the beauty of nature, the smell of the air, the gurgling of the stream all the way from fairway 3 to 6, the clouds, the sky and the breeze- nature at its best and of course the addiction to the game of golf!
